As Heard Tonight, vol. 3

I was talking with my son today after we got home from his drum lesson. He was chattering on about the usual things... the new grooves that he learned at his drum lesson... how terrible his substitute teacher was... how irritating the girls in his class can be... I could go on.

All of a sudden he shouted, "Guess what!?" When I responded with a simple "What?" he got a very serious look on his face. "The food at my school is POISONED! They are trying to kill the kids!" he declared. He proceeded, "Remember that day, back a long time ago, when I bought pizza at lunch?" I, of course, didn't remember. After looking incredibly annoyed, he explained to me that the lunch lady was pouring "some weird yellow stuff" on top of the pizza before she served it . Apparently he has seen her pour it on other food as well.

My immediate response was to tell him that the food most certainly wasn't poisoned. That the sweet lunch lady would go to prison if she poisoned the children at his school. That it must have been some kind of "special sauce." He, of course, would hear none of it.

As soon as my hubby got home from work, he proceeded to inform him that the food at school is "the P word." When the hubby asked him what the "P word" was, the boy's immediate reply was, "You know... POISONED."

I wish that I could tell you that he assumed the food was poisoned due to it's incredibly low nutritional value and sub-par taste. Unfortunately that isn't the case. He is convinced there is a greater conspiracy at play... the elimination of all the sweet children by the evil, sinister lunch lady.