Soap & Shampoo Are Optional

© shoutingforha

Each morning, when my boy gets out of bed, he looks like a crazed madman. He staggers down the hall, his sweet freckled face framed by what can only be described as a tangle of orange fur that juts from his head in every direction. Needless to say, the child insists on taking a shower before school.

Even a nine year old boy wants to make sure he looks good.

Here's the problem. The boy loves to "soak" in the shower, a trait he inherited from his father. By soaking I mean standing under the scalding hot water for ten or twenty minutes and doing absolutely nothing else. Shampoo and soap are not involved in this ever important soaking process. Given the chance, he will drain the entire hot water tank before he ever gets to that bothersome task of washing.

No matter what the hubby and I try, we cannot get the boy to add cleanliness to his list of priorities. I've set a timer. We've walked in and simply shut off the water, forcing him to exit the shower. In truth, all we've done is turn what should be described as a shower into something more accurately called a rinse.

I've handed the boy his toothbrush thinking he might consider brushing his choppers while he soaks. Instead, he uses the toothbrush like a drumstick and ends up flinging toothpaste all over the inside of the shower and whacking dozens of holes in the shower curtain liner.

My boy clearly has the whole soaking thing mastered. Washing... not so much.

I can get the boy to scrub his body if I stand outside the shower and shout at him like I'm a member of the Gestapo. Truth be told, that's a miserable way to start the day and, in my opinion, a failure to use bar soap is not a reason for this mom to get her panties in a wad.

The only way to guarantee a clean child is for the hubby or I to actually pull back the shower curtain, grab some shampoo or soap and literally wash the boy ourselves. Just like we did when he was two. But honestly, what nine-year-old wants to have their mom bathing them? I assure you, not mine.

Thankfully, my boy still has that sweet little guy smell. I think all you moms out there in internet land know exactly what I'm talking about. For now, I can overlook his sometimes inadequate hygiene as long as the visible chunks of dirt are rinsed away.

Surely the boy will master the art of personal cleanliness by the time he transforms into one of those stinky teenagers. Well, at least that's my hope.