Root Beer + The Boy = A Crazed Lunatic

I am one of those weird people that never drink soda. My drinks of choice, in addition to my morning cup of coffee, are either water, unsweetened tea, or the occasional glass of milk. I also like to enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or a bottle of my favorite beer.

This lack of soda in my life wasn't always the case.

Many years ago, the hubby decided to cut back on his soda intake. In an effort to be supportive, I opted to do the same. For approximately three months, no Coke or Pepsi products crossed our lips.

For me, the soda fast was a breeze. The hubby, however, grew to miss his old friend and was soon back on the bottle, although in significantly less quantities than before.

I tried to renew my love affair with soda, but after one sip it became apparent that going back to my soda drinking days was simply not an option. The stuff was so sickeningly sweet that it made me feel nauseous. Ten years later, I still can't stomach a sip.

When the boy came along, it never crossed my mind to offer him soda. In an effort to keep things honest around here, I can admit that I'm a little anal when it comes to feeding my one and only son.

The poor boy has never tasted a Twinkie, consumed a tube of Gogurt or had Coco Puffs. I try to feed him tasty, nutritious and natural foods whenever possible. Don't get me wrong, he get's his fair share of junk food, but that tends to be the exception and not the rule.

For years the boy proclaimed that soda was "spicy" (referring to the fizz) whenever someone would offer him a drink. He refused to even take a sip until about three years ago. That's when he discovered Root Beer and Dr. Pepper.

The child loves the stuff. He is constantly begging for "just one glass" whenever we are out at a restaurant. On the rare occasions that the hubby and I agree, we always regret it. A perfect example was yesterday.

The boys and I stopped off at Puckett's Grocery on our way to the lake. The hubby and I let the boy buy a bottle of Root Beer to enjoy while we fished. Fishing and soda... the child was in heaven.

By the time we loaded the car and headed for home, the high fructose corn syrup had taken full effect. The boy talked incessantly, gesturing wildly (picture flailing arms attached to a squirming body), for the entire ride home. He even began making up words like "frictionated" to add a little pizazz to his monologues about speeding motorcycles, farting and dead skunks.

While incredibly comical, it was exhausting.

For the first time in my life, I regretted the fact that I wasn't carrying a role of duct tape in my purse. Some people believe that next to the wheel and the hammer, duct tape is the greatest thing man has ever invented. I am starting to think they are right.

The soda fast is back in full swing here at the Ha house, at least as far as the boy is concerned. For now, my boy will be mourning the loss of his beloved Root Beer. Poor child.

I, however, will be enjoying the peace and tranquility that a corn syrup-free child provides.